APH Rochu: Sticky
by haraguro-tan
Summary: It's Dumpling Festival and Yao is making rice dumplings for dinner with Ivan and his siblings. Ivan drops by a little too early and decides that he wants more than dumplings. Lemon-flavored.
1. A Hungry Bear is a Dangerous Bear

**A/N:** Dumpling Festival / Duan Wu Jie is in 3 days time! (5th of the 5th month according to the Chinese Lunar calendar, which is 16th of June!). So I'm writing a fic specially to commemorate this wonderful festival (although in actual fact, this is just an excuse to write some naughty rochu *bricked*)! I'll finish it by Dumpling Festival, hopefully!

**Warning: **Smut without plot. You do learn a little something about the festival though. XD

**All characters (C) Axis Powers Hetalia & Hidekaz Himaruya. No part of the story is related to any country, political ideology or real event.**

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**Wang Yao was extremely busy today. It was Dumpling Festival and he had been up and about all morning and afternoon, buying and preparing ingredients and making dumplings. He was expecting important guests to join him for a dinner of dumplings today - Hong Kong and Taiwan, who also celebrated Dumpling Festival, and his Russian neighbour Ivan Braginski, who, despite not celebrating Dumpling Festival, used every Chinese festival as an excuse to visit Yao. Yao did not mind of course, even if he enjoyed pretending otherwise. As usual, he would prepare some special dumplings for Ivan. They would contain the usual traditional ingredients, but he had also bought Ivan's favourite Vodka to add to his share of dumplings.

The doorbell rang, just as Yao was in the midst of wrapping blobs of glutinous rice into triangular dumplings.

"Aiya! Ivan, you're too early aru! The dumplings are not even finished yet," Yao scolded as he opened the door to let Ivan in.

"I missed you, my little sunflower~ I wanted to see you as soon as possible," Ivan enveloped Yao in a hug. Yao swerved his head and Ivan's lips missed its target and landed on Yao's cheek.

"Aww~!" Ivan sulked.

"Later, Ivan," Yao untangled himself from Ivan's embrace. "I'm up to my ears with the dumplings aru."

"Are you making dumplings now? I can help da?" Ivan bounded after him into the warm kitchen.

"All right aru. You should help since you always eat the most," Yao smiled.

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How Yao wished he had never let Ivan into the kitchen! After a quick ten minute shower, he re-entered the kitchen, only to be greeted by the appalling sight of a plate of slightly deformed-looking heart-shaped blobs of glutinous rice in front of its chef. Even as Yao was seething, Ivan was still happily shaping another blob of glutinous rice while whistling a Russian folk song.

"Ivan! What on earth are you doing aru? Didn't I tell you to just wrap them up in the leaves and shape them like the ones I've already made?" Yao cried.

"But Yao~ Hearts are prettier and more romantic! Don't you think so?" Ivan pouted as Yao snatched over the dumpling he was shaping to undo his misdeed.

"Aiya! Dumpling festival isn't supposed to be romantic aru!" Yao scolded. "It's a festival to remember the sacrifice of Qu Yuan, a patriotic scholar, minister and poet from my country. He jumped into the Mi Luo river out of grief towards the corruption of the sovereign in his era."

Ivan watched in silence as Yao reshaped one deformed glob after another into triangular tents with his deft fingers.

"Yao, why do the dumplings have to be in this shape?"

Yao paused and looked up thoughtfully. The tradition of making and eating dumplings had begun from the time Qu Yuan's countrymen made and threw dumplings into the Mi Luo river to feed Qu Yuan's soul. The dumplings were wrapped in bamboo leaves to prevent the fish from eating the rice. However, come to think of it, he wasn't sure why they were shaped like triangular tents.

To hide the fact that he was not completely knowledgeable about his own festival, he avoided the topic, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, because these dumplings remind me of something."

"What aru?"

"They remind me of tents..."

"That's what they're supposed to look like aru."

"...The kinds I get in my pants whenever I think about making love to you."

A dumpling fell back into the plate with a plop sound as Yao's hands froze in midair. Ivan looked on in amusement as Yao's face turned from pale white to sickly green to raging red.

"Aiyaaaa! Ivan Braginski! How dare you! This is sacrilege aru!" Yao lashed out at any spot he could reach on the Russian's large body.

"Ewwww! Yao~ your hands are sticky!" Ivan complained laughingly as Yao smacked him on the face.

"Serves you right for always thinking about such filthy stuff aru!" Yao snapped. "And now I'll have to wash off all this glutinuous rice from my hands after touching you with them. You're such a nuisance!"

"Yao, let's not waste food."

Ivan grabbed Yao's wrist and brought his hand to his mouth. Locking his fiery violet eyes against Yao's confused amber ones, he slid his tongue slowly from Yao's wrist, upwards across his palm and to the tip of his third finger. One by one, he swirled his tongue around each finger, licking, kissing and sucking tenderly, yet possessively.

"I... Ivan..."

"Hmm...?"

"Stop it aru!" Yao said weakly as he tugged his hand away. The feel of Ivan's smooth, wet tongue against his skin gave him goosebumps that spelt trouble.

Ivan maintained a firm grip on Yao's slim wrist.

"But I'm hungry, Yao," Ivan's face closed in dangerously on Yao.

"You can have a dumpling first! I just need to wrap it in bamboo leaves and steam it. It will be ready in no time." Yao said in a high-pitched voice as he backed away hastily. Ivan made no signs of wanting to let Yao get him his early dinner.

"But I need to eat _now_," Ivan advanced forward, once more closing up the distance between himself and Yao. Ivan gazed so intensely at Yao that Yao thought he could see blue flames dancing in the purple eyes.

"I'll scoop you some glutinous rice then!" Yao squeaked. He backed further away, and felt his bum hit something hard. He turned his head to look at the object of hindrance. The kitchen counter sealed his sole path of escape.

"But I don't want glutinous rice, Yao, I want you," Ivan leaned forward and whispered breathily into Yao's ear. They were in such close proximity that Yao could feel Ivan's tent pressing against his own. His own tent.

"Ah ha~ you really want me too da?" He placed his hands on the kitchen counter, trapping Yao between them and forcing Yao to lean back further.

"No! Ivan! It's broad daylight and this is hardly the right place! Tonight, I swear...!"

Yao let out a yelp as Ivan pushed him down onto the counter.

"I told you, I need to eat now."

Ivan smothered Yao's protests with his lips.  
_  
This would teach Yao to reject his kiss. Kolkolkolkol~!  
_

**To be continued...**_  
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**A/N: **

I just read the fanfiction uploading guidelines (yea after so many years on this) and discovered that explicit content is not allowed! *le gasp* But I've seen quite a fair bit of smut around, and Spanish Discipline (which made me decide to turn this into another M fic by the way) is definitely whoaaa. Now I'm worried D: What exactly is explicit? Anyway I might move this and the smut chapter in Sex in the Forbidden City to my blog later.

Making dumplings is indeed a very complicated process!  
http : / / www. eatingchina .com / recipes / zongzi . htm (remove spaces for the link to work)

Is any one really amused with the site title like me? I bet Ivan owns the domain name.

Does anyone know why dumplings are triangular? I'm pretty sure they could have been squarish, circular or even heart-shaped and still sink to the bottom of the sea.

I hope nobody's going to get weird thoughts when eating dumplings... ^^;


	2. Ivan's Early Dinner

**Warning: **This chapter is strictly out of bounds for under 18s.

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**Chapter 2**

Yao didn't want it, although his body was gradually urging him otherwise. Intimacy was for the bedroom, under the camouflage of the dark night. Right now, it was late afternoon. They were in the kitchen, a place for cooking, not carnal activity for heaven's sake. Hong Kong and Taiwan would be coming over in a couple of hours and there were tents... no, dumplings to be wrapped and steamed.

Ivan's soft but aggressive lips kissed him breathless. By the time they left his own, Yao was gasping for breath. But all hopes of regaining normal air flow vanquished when Ivan clamped a large palm over his mouth and nostrils hard. Not hard enough to suffocate him, but enough to restrict his breathing, and consequently, his movements.

Yao despaired to find his strength and will power to struggle ebb away, replaced by a dull ringing in his ears and blurring vision. He kicked his feet, the only parts of his body that were free to move now, but they felt as reluctant as though he was wading through swamp. Instead he only succeeded in causing a throbbing pain in the small of his back, which was pressed against the edge of the kitchen counter.

"Don't struggle so, my little sunflower~ You're wasting precious energy for more _fun things_," Ivan slipped a large hand inside Yao's pants, "that we can do in a moment."

"Stop!" Yao tried to shout through Ivan's fingers, but it only came out like a frightened squeak.

"I like how easy your pants are to remove. No buttons or string, just an elastic hem. Very practical da~"

The pants in question slipped down to Yao's ankles in a split moment. Yao felt terribly exposed as his boxers followed soon after.

"But these buttons on your shirt have got to be the most redundant invention ever," Ivan fumbled with the small, intricate frog buttons with one clumsy hand, while the other hand remained firmly clapped over his lover's mouth.

"Well, how about it? Would you like to remove your own shirt, or do I have to ruin yet another nice shirt of yours?" Ivan tugged hard at the mandarin collar, threatening to rip it apart.

Yao glared at Ivan through tears of indignation and discomfort from the lack of oxygen. The shame of submission was hard to swallow, but if the Russian was going to get away with what he wanted, as he always did, there was no reason to do so at the expense of another pricey silk brocade shirt. Shamefacedly, he drew two limp hands up to his collar and undid the buttons.

"Good boy," Ivan cooed as the last button unclasped, revealing a smooth ivory chest. He lifted his iron grip off Yao abruptly. The sudden influx of oxygen made Yao's head spin momentarily. While Yao fought to normalize his breathing, Ivan removed his own clothes. He pressed his muscular torso against Yao, who trembled at the feel of soft chest hair against his naked skin, and trailed moist kisses down his nape and shoulders, where he paused to leave fresh marks of passion over faint pink scars from a previous encounter. One free hand supported Yao's waist, cushioning him from the hard kitchen counter while another hand snaked down to his erection. Yao shivered with each stroke of Ivan's masterful fingers, knowing that he could stay indifferent no longer. Ivan understood his body far too well.

"Don't," Yao whimpered. A soft moan of pleasure barely escaped his lips.

Ivan left behind an especially red mark that caused him to gasp in pain, and proceeded to suck and lick his nipples. Yao shuddered and sobbed, fully aware that he had lost yet again to his body's wanton desires. Without a stitch on, it was far too easy to see what he truly wanted in spite of his pained expression. Yao stifled yet another moan, but he was helpless about the warm milky liquid that flowed from his erection over Ivan's hand.

"Just nice for the lube," Ivan rubbed the sticky liquid between his fingers. He snuck two fingers inside Yao's buttocks and moved them in and out. He was pleased to fill the warm muscles close in on his fingers invitingly, to hear Yao become increasingly vocal about his desires. It made Ivan even more conscious of his own needs.

Ivan drew out his fingers, now moist from his lover's juices. He grabbed Yao around the waist and lifted him up onto the counter so he could now lie in a more comfortable position.

"Your turn to pleasure me now," Ivan pushed Yao's thighs apart and drove his red-hot rod inside.

"Nnnh… Ahhh! Ivan…! Ivan!" Yao wailed, all remnants of self-control gone as he writhed in ecstasy of their lovemaking. Ivan's movements were rapid and rough, but the pain could not deter him from the immense waves of ecstasy that invaded him with each push and pull.

"Yao… Yao…! You belong to me and me alone, do you hear?" Ivan panted. "I'll kill anyone who tries to take you away… your siblings included."

Ivan seized Yao around the waist and pulled him closer, pressing himself further in for more. Yao did not hold back his moans of pleasure, knowing he was always helpless from the pleasures that Ivan afforded him. Their bodies moved in unison as they called to each other until their voices fused in a jubilant cry.

**To be continued...**

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**A/N:** I am sooo sorry, although I promised to finish this by Duan Wu Jie, I failed to do so T_T I have been busy writing a new story for the Rochu Squad competition on Deviant Art because I know I won't be able to finish Taming the Polar Bear for it by the deadline. So I guess this doesn't really qualify for a Duan Wu Jie fic anymore. But! Who cares right? Everyday's a special day with some good 'ol Rochu ero XD 正所谓工口不需天时地利，只需人'合'~

I'm ashamed at how short this is and I really wish I could have made it longer, but I'm still a newbie at this. Still, I hope this is at least a slight improvement from the smut in Sex in the Forbidden City ^^;

I will finish this up after I'm done with my contest entry XD Although the climax is pretty much over, it will be strange to end here since I introduced Taiwan and HK at the beginning of the story.


	3. Second and Third Helpings

In view that several people said the smut was too short, here's another chapter of it. I'm a crowd pleaser *nods sagely*.

Warning: Explicit smex. Possibly most explicit I've written as yet. Stay away, minors, you have been warned!

**All characters (C) Axis Powers Hetalia & Hidekaz Himaruya. No part of the story is related to any country, political ideology or real event.**

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"These bamboos thrive really well. The last time I was here, they only reached my shoulders. Now they're so much taller than me," Kiku admired the dense and tall bamboo grove in Yao's front garden.

"I'm hungry da-ze~!" Yong Soo pawed at the tender, green leaves on the strong bamboo shoots. "I could start eating like a panda now."

"The door is just right ahead. _Da Ge_ won't be pleased if you destroy his bamboo grove," Hong Kong pulled Yong Soo away.

(Da Ge: Oldest brother)

"Aren't we a bit too early?" Taiwan pouted as she patted foundation on her face with the aid of a handheld mirror. Her make-up regime had been rudely interrupted when Yong Soo turned up unannounced at her house with a disheveled Kiku and Hong Kong behind him half an hour ago, demanding that they visit Yao for dinner together because"Chinese rice dumplings originate from Korea da-ze!" Knowing his big brother too well, he had insisted on making all his siblings accompany him so Yao would not have any excuse to turn him out.

"I hope we aren't imposing ourselves on Yao-nii," Kiku said worriedly. Yong Soo had thundered by like a hurricane such that he did not have time to prepare any presents or bring anything apart from himself.

"You and Wan haven't visited _Da Ge _in awhile. I'm sure _Da_ _Ge_ will be pleased to spend more time with both of you," Hong Kong said.

"Hey! Why didn't you mention me? Aniki must like me most because China originates from me da-ze! And so do Taiwan, Japan and Hong Kong da-ze!"

"That's why," Taiwan rolled her eyes.

The four siblings trooped towards Yao's front door. Yong Soo made to bang on the door, but Kiku, ever so observant, grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Look at these footprints pointing inwards," Kiku pointed at the large imprints of Ivan's boot in the soil in front of the door.

Hong Kong knelt down and studied the footprints. "They're fresh. Someone came before us, and he hasn't left," he confirmed Kiku's concern.

"The door is unlocked," Taiwan announced as she gently turned the door knob, but did not push it open.

"The Russian bear is here!" they said in shushed voices. Yong Soo looked at his siblings with a puzzled expression.

"If none of you are knocking on the door, I'll shout for him. ANI-"

Kiku landed a smart _karate_ chop on Yong Soo's neck, and the Korean fell to the floor.

"Now, to gather material for our new yaoi doujinshi!" Taiwan pulled out her camera, which came with a flashlight suppressor and a silencing feature. 'The ultimate videography equipment for voyeurs', just as the online advertisement had promised.

"You're always so well-prepared," Kiku marvelled gratefully.

"Elizaveta said that a doujinshi author should be well-prepared to capture new subjects at all times," Taiwan beamed. "Let's go seek them out?"

"I don't know why I always let you two have your way. _Da Ge_ is going to kill me if he finds out what you have been doing. He hasn't completely forgiven me over that *video leakage incident," Hong Kong sighed.

(A/N: *Shameless shout out to my first smut fanfic "Sex in the Forbidden City")

"Because we fund all your rare Bruce Lee classics with the proceeds from our _doujinshi_ sale?" Taiwan sniggered.

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Ivan cuddled his exhausted lover in his arms and caressed his long black hair which was now damp from perspiration.

"Yao, I love you," he planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Hmmph," Yao blushed. He made to button up his shirt, but Ivan's arms remained stubbornly glued around his waist, preventing him from pulling on his pants.

"Remove your hands aru!" Yao tugged at Ivan's arms. "I still need to clean up and make dumplings."

"Yao, your siblings won't be coming any time soon right?" Ivan tightened his embrace, much to Yao's trepidation.

"B... but... Kiku's always early. So he might come anytime soon aru," Yao stammered. The intensity of the Russian's gaze unsettled him greatly.

"He couldn't come, remember?" Ivan grinned heartily. "Something about being busy with the World Cup? You got so upset that you cried until I cheered you up with my special ways." He licked his ear, inciting an involuntary groan of pleasure.

"Yao is still upset about your brother da? Let me cheer you up again!" Ivan lifted Yao effortlessly with both arms.

"But I don't need cheering up aru! Put me down!" Yao flailed his arms and legs.

"Don't worry Yao~ I'll put you down once we get to the bedroom. _Kolkolkolkol~_"

"Thank goodness, I thought we missed the show for good," Taiwan heaved a sigh of relief from outside the kitchen window.

* * *

Ivan attacked Yao's clothing, not satisfied until he was completely naked. His lips pressed gently, lovingly over the red marks that he had left behind from their earlier union. Once certain that he had kissed each one to make them last longer, he moved on to suckle each nipple, relishing their heat and hardness.

I love you," Yao whispered as their lips met. The kiss started chaste, soft and gentle, but quickly became hard, wet and dirty.

Ivan tore his own clothes off, hurling them aside, a rumbling growl emanating from deep within his chest. He knelt between Yao's thighs. Yao gazed up anxiously as Ivan intertwined their fingers, pinning his arms over his head, and settled his body over him.

Ivan began exploring. He knew every inch of his lover, possibly even more than Yao himself even did. Yet it never ceased to amaze him how soft and sweet he always tasted. He pressed his nose against the slender chest, inhaling deeply, scenting, licking and tasting before pressing another fresh round of bites against Yao's already reddish and well-marked skin. Open-mouthed kisses trailed from jaw right down to navel. He moved his tongue around it, gently sucking and licking. Yao whimpered from the sensation of butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Yao looked up at Ivan, breathing rapidly and painfully, anticipating the Russian's next move. He could not do anything but let Ivan have free reign over his body. One forceful hand on his chest and the other on a thigh held him down. He could feel each ridge of each finger dig into his skin, making him feel wanted and needed in so many ways he could not imagine.

Ivan gave him a feral smile. Convinced that Yao, weakened from pleasure, would not leave the bed, he lifted his hand off the chest and moved it down to his lover's manhood. Pushing against Yao's thigh with his other hand, he made sufficient space between the lithe thighs to place his head and took the gradually hardening organ in his mouth. The wet heat on the sensitized skin was almost more than Yao could bear. He writhed and moaned as Ivan's tongue wrapped around the slowly swelling flesh. The long tongue curled and squeezed, creating unfamiliar bolts of lust that struck like lightning. Subconsciously, Yao spread himself wider, offering himself, wanting and needing more. Ivan responded to the silent plea, ploughing and possessing, rubbing the sweet spot mercilessly until it became too much. Yao came hard, shuddering and crying out Ivan's name as he spilled into the eager mouth.

"You taste so good, my sweetheart," Ivan licked the sticky liquid from his lips.

Too spent to do anything more than pant, Yao whimpered softly as Ivan flipped him around so that his stomach was against the soft bedsheets. Ivan trailed kisses from his neck all the way down his back, softly licking and puffing out warm breaths of air. Yao trembled with pleasure. Two fingers pushed inside him, followed almost immediately by three. No pain this time, except for a mild tingling sensation.

"You're so wet. You really want me da?" Ivan's harsh whisper penetrated the unidentified buzzing in his ear.

"No... I don't want... Get off me..." Yao gritted his teeth in a futile attempt to remain modest.

"Lying begets punishment, my naughty sunflower~"

The self-proclaimed disciplinary rammed his hard knob inside him, inciting a cry of protest and pleasure.

Ivan rocked back and forth in small increments, massive erection slowly sinking into Yao's body. When he was buried deep inside him, Ivan lowered himself so that his head was beside Yao's. He grabbed his lover's jaw emphatically, tilting it so that their eyes met.

"Promise me, Yao. Promise that you'll never leave me," he demanded.

"I'll never leave you. I promise, Ivan..." Yao gazed back lovingly in spite of his discomfort.

Satisfied, Ivan closed their distance to claim Yao's lips. His tongue slid inside the small mouth, tasting all its flavours and textures. Then he wrapped it around Yao's tongue, vanquishing it completely, before sucking it victoriously into his own mouth. He felt Yao's body relax, the tightness around his organ easing fractionally as his rebellious lover ceded his body to him. He began to move faster in deep rolling thrusts, rotating his hips firmly and steadily. Yao wailed unresistingly in impassioned lust, his body coiled tight with need. Ivan grabbed his slender waist to steady his writhing body and thrust in and out in a hard, unforgiving rhythm. Yao made incoherent sounds of desire, encouraging Ivan to do whatever he wanted. Their movements became complementary, hard and fast, hot and wet, giving and taking, Ivan's powerful body pushing into Yao who pressed back to meet every thrust.

"Van... Vanya!" Propelled to his pinnacle, Yao cried out is lover's name in a most intimate manner reserved for their most intense love-making sessions. He gripped the bedsheets hard, whitening knuckles reflecting the tenseness of his muscles.

Turned on by Yao's vocal expression of pleasure, Ivan rammed inside impossibly deeper, causing the entire bed to jerk with the power of his movements. One, two, three more thrusts from his strong haunches and Ivan moulded to Yao's body, filling him with his hot ejaculation as he roared to climax, pushing his lover over into the abyss. Yao shuddered and jerked helplessly on the appendage as his essence was released for the third time that day.

Ivan gently turned Yao around to face him.

"You're gorgeous," Ivan pushed away the long bangs, moist with perspiration, so that he could see his lover's amber eyes clearly. Yao looked away, embarrassed, knowing how Ivan was going to tease him about his tsundere tendencies.

"And so defenseless..." Ivan grabbed the trembling chin and angled it upwards. The wide-eyed innocence and helplessness reflected in his lover's reddening face only made his raging libido more insatiable than ever. He pressed their lips together, plunging his tongue inside while strong hands moved in a predatory manner over the svelte back and perky butt cheeks.

"Really, that's enough!" Yao gasped, alarmed by the feel of fingers threatening to intrude his back entrance again.

"Yao, I can never possibly get enough of you..." Ivan whispered dangerously as he moved in for the capture.

**To be continued...**

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**A / N: **Is this long enough now? XD I mulled over it for a week (no I do have a life, except that it comprises lots of long-distance bus rides), so if you think it's an improvement, reward me with reviews! I must say, it's difficult to describe smex in yaoi because both are referred to as 'he'. Either that or I have to keep using names, which is kind of intrusive. I hope that you were able to visualize it well enough to satisfy your fujioshi needs XD In any case, I think I'm getting the hang of writing lemon. I hope you agree too. I'm going to change my pen name, because I use this username for almost all my accounts and I'm quite worried that some people I know will stumble upon my works and find out that I'm a closet fujioshi who writes lemon. So don't be surprised if my easy url no longer works. For your reference, my permanent url is http: / / www. fan fiction. net /u/ 317362

In the Chinese fandom, Taiwan is often portrayed as a fujioshi who is good friends with Elizaveta. So if you think she's OOC or you don't like her portrayal here, well I'm sorry ^^; I've decided to bring in Kiku and Yong Soo after all for the plot's sake (there's a plot? lol) although initially it was just going to be Hong Kong and Taiwan.

Will the final chapter contain _more smex_? Dun-dun~ Review and I'll update sooner!


	4. Mysterious Headaches

Note: I will now refer to **Hong Kong as Xiang** and **Taiwan as Wan** in my stories because country names are awkward when everyone else is addressed by their human name. Xiang is derived from the Chinese pronounciation of Hong Kong as Xiang Gang. Their full names will be Wang Xiang and Wang Wan.

**All characters (C) Axis Powers Hetalia & Hidekaz Himaruya. No part of the story is related to any country, political ideology or real event.**

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**Chapter 4 - Mysterious Headaches**

Yao opened his eyes slowly, his body throbbing in pain from its thorough usage. His lower body ached, reminding him of his intense and passionate lovemaking with Ivan, but for some inexplicable reason, his head was giving him the most trouble. He rubbed his sore skull as he tried to rearrange his thoughts in an organized manner. The last thing he saw was Ivan's devilishly smiling face inching towards him before his vision greyed out. He had no further recollection of what happened after that. Did this mean that he had collasped in the middle of having sex? But how embarrassing! What kind of man was he if he could not even tolerate his partner's 'acts of affection', as Ivan was fond of calling it. Compared to the times when Ivan _did_ knock Yao out with his ravenous appetite, Ivan was actually considerably gentle this time, if you could even use such a word to describe the zealously lusty Russian.

Yao turned on his side, half-dreading, half looking forward to seeing his lover grin at him from his side of the bed. To his surprise, he drew a blank. Ivan was not lying beside him, nor was he present anywhere in the room as a matter of fact. Yao sat up straight, throwing the blankets off him. He was astonished to find himself fully-clothed in clean clothes and free from perspiration and sticky mess. Annoyance at his lover turned to alarm. Ivan hardly ever took initiative to let him get cleaned up, much less clean him up after sex "just in case we're going for another round". The only time he did was before he had to leave the world to adopt a new form following the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Yao had woken up the next day in the same situation, fully clothed and cleaned as though nothing had happened, safe for the memories and bodily aches.

The unhappy retrospection frightened his still-groggy self into letting his most unpleasant imaginations run wild. He ran around the room frantically, diving under the bed and opening all the cupboards and drawers. Such was his distress that when Ivan came back to the bedroom, he quickly found himself with his arms full of sobbing lover.

"I... I thought... I thought..." Yao stuttered, unable to get the words out.

"Sorry, my poor little sunflower," Ivan murmured as he showered Yao's tearful face with kisses. "I was in the kitchen. I didn't want to wake you up."

Yao opened his mouth to accept Ivan's tongue, letting the feel of the agile organ possess his mouth. Ivan felt his manhood rise. Yao was most agreeable when he was upset. He snaked his hand into the hem of his pants...

"Ivan, I poured the vodka over the dumplings like you said. Now what?" in walked Xiang suddenly, inciting a shocked gasp and violent shove from Yao.

"Xiang!" Yao goggled at his younger brother. A deeply disgruntled Ivan massaged his crushed butt on the bedroom floor.

"Oh sorry," Xiang mumbled and made to retreat. Then he leaned back in through the door and called, "By the way, how's your head, _Da Ge_?"

"My head? What's wrong with my head? How do you know that something's wrong with my head aru?" Yao demanded, his increasingly hurting head now swarming with questions like what Xiang was doing in his house and why had he poured vodka over dumplings. Dumplings... The shocked expression on Yao's face contorted to horror as the answer became apparent.

"Aiya! I'm supposed to make dumplings for Xiang and Wan! And Xiang is already here! Aiya aiya aiya!" Yao chewed agitatedly on the edge of his flappy sleeve.

"It's all right, everyone is helping out. I have everything under control. Calm down, _Da Ge_," Xiang said.

"Everyone? Who's everyone aru?" Yao cried, upset at the prospect of being labelled a terrible host who made his guests prepare their own food.

"Aniki! Your breasts are mine!" Xiang found himself being shoved into an open wardrobe as Yong Soo trampled past him, hands in an outstretched motion towards his unsuspecting big brother.

Kiku grabbed Yong Soo's long hanbok with the best intentions of preventing him from inflicting further trauma to Yao's undoubtedly battered body. Yong Soo lost his balance and fell headlong into Ivan's lap.

"Kiku! I wasn't expecting you! I thought you were busy with the World Cup!" Yao pounced on Kiku and hugged him tightly.

"Well, family comes first," Kiku blushed slightly as he returned his brother's hug, inciting a snort from Ivan. The jealous Russian vented his anger by smacking the fallen Korean on his head.

"OW! Aniki! He hit my already hurting head!" Yong Soo wailed as Ivan shoved him out of his lap.

"Yong Soo! You came too!" Yao detached himself from Kiku and gave Yong Soo a rare but quick hug.

"What's wrong with your head aru?" Yao asked as he helped Yong Soo to his feet.

"It huuurts da-ze~" Yong Soo flapped his sleeves wildly. "My brain's been doing somersaults in my head eversince I got here!"

"Really? That's odd, I have a headache too aru," Yao mused, as the throbbing in his head announced its presence again.

"Headaches originate from me da-ze!" Yong Soo sang.

"For once, you got that right," Xiang dusted his sleeves as he crawled out of the wardrobe.

"Aniki! I'm hungry! I've been waiting for hours and hours da-ze! Wan is still doing her make-up, Xiang doesn't know what he's doing, Kiku-hyung takes half an hour just to wrap one miserable dumpling and all Ivan wants to do is make disgusting Vodka dumplings da-ze! Go make dinner!" Yong Soo rubbed his empty stomach piteously, oblivious to the fumes of anger radiating from the people he had just thoughtlessly criticized.

"You didn't even lift a finger to help!" Xiang complained, stung by the jibe at his lack of domestic talents.

"I fainted and was out cold for hours like Kiku-hyung said, wasn't I? You couldn't possibly make a sick person do work da-ze!"

"Hours? Do you mean... you all have been here for hours? And what's this about Yong Soo fainting aru?" Yao widened his eyes in alarmed. He glanced at his clock. Barely less than two hours ago, he was being sexually assaulted right in this room by a certain starving Russian. Did this mean that...

Yao felt his face turn hot as he choked on invisible tears, "you saw... you saw Ivan and I..."

"No we did not," Xiang replied a little too quickly for comfort.

"Ahahaha Yao-nii," Kiku laughed awkwardly. "You know how Yong Soo enjoys exaggerating. Actually, we only just got here. Right, Ivan-kun?"

"Da~! Poor little Yong Soo fainted because I greeted him a little too enthusiastically with my water pipe~" Ivan placed an arm threateningly around the Korean's neck, intimidating him from speaking further.

"Yes. When we saw you, you were already fully-clothed and clean," Xiang tried to salvage his mistake, only to have dugged a deeper hole in the ground. Kiku kicked him hard in one leg and Ivan trod hard on a foot.

"In conclusion~ they arrived only after I finished eating my early dinner~" Ivan smiled suggestively.

Yao blushed, but refusing to get distracted, he narrowed his eyes and watched their faces searchingly. Three pairs of eyes stared back as earnestly as they could (Yong Soo was too busy trying to wrestle free from his prison warden), willing the Chinese nation to accept their half-baked lies. Xiang was just beginning to feel his eyes water from the strain when a welcome distraction arrived in the form of Wan.

"_Da Ge_~!" The vivacious young lady squealed as she threw her arms around Yao's neck.

"Wan-wan!" Yao exclaimed, surprised but pleased that his favourite little sister was so excited to see him.

"How are you? You haven't come to visit me in ages!" Yao said anxiously, all his own fears having evaporated sky-high into the clouds.

"I'm very well, _Da Ge_. All thanks to you~!" Wan giggled happily. She stretched out a hand behind her and extended three fingers to make an 'OK' sign at her siblings-cum-accomplices.

As Yao fussed over Wan, Kiku mopped perspiration off his brow, Xiang let a tear flow freely and Ivan released Yong Soo. Yet another day had passed, in which Yao had been spared heart-attack-inducing details of his perverted siblings' voyeuristic fetish. In spite everyone's differences, there was unanimous agreement that Yao did not need to know the truth behind his and Yong Soo's mysterious headaches.

It would certainly do no good for Yao to learn of how Yong Soo, having come round outside Yao's front door to find himself alone, had barged into the bedroom just as the couple was about to make love for another time. Out of the blue, Xiang came soaring in through the bedroom window, legs extended in a flying split. In one powerful motion, he kicked both Ivan and Yong Soo hard on their heads. Yong Soo passed out promptly, while Ivan's head rammed against Yao's. Thanks to protection from his big bones, Ivan received a temporary headache, but Yao went out like a light. Exactly what Xiang wanted. His poor big brother really did not need to know how out of four siblings he brought up, two of them lacked moral ethics while another was just unteachable. Some truths were better left concealed forever.

* * *

It was the middle of next day when Wan woke up with a nasty hangover from Vodka dumplings. She felt weak and ill, but she was immensely satisfied. Thanks to her wonderful big brother and his boyfriend, she had finally finished drawing the hot yaoi sex scene for her doujinshi, the one and only obstacle that stood before her submission deadline to Yaoi Times, the most prestigious fan magazine in Japan. Having sent Xiang to submit her completed pages to the editior, Wan lazed in bed, fantasizing about receiving tonnes of fanmail from her grateful readers.

Her cell phone rang and she glanced at the display monitor. "Ah, here's one," she said happily to herself before answering it.

"Hi Elizaveta~!"

"Wan! I just saw the new copy of Yaoi Times! Your section was so hot! You bled my nose dry!" The Hungarian _fujioshi_ shrieked into her ear.

"Thank you teacher. It's all thanks to you for teaching me the tricks of the trade! Kiku-nii has been very helpful too!" Wan replied happily.

"No, no, _you_ must teach me your tricks. I offered Yao Lake Balaton in return for some tame pictures of him and Ivan kissing and he won't even budge. And yet here you've got him going all the way for the camera. How did you persuade him? Tell meeee!" Elizaveta blubbered.

"What? How did you know that I got my muse from them when the doujin is of Sasuke and Naruto?" Wan replied, utterly confused.

"What doujin, dear? I only saw a page of photos of Yao and Ivan credited under you and Kiku."

Wan ended the baffling conversation, feeling greatly unsettled. She was about to put the blame on hallucinations from Vodka intoxication and go back to sleep when an urgent series of knocking sounds came from outside her door. She opened the door to let in a distressed-looking Xiang pulling a suitcase behind him.

"What happened?" she asked worriedly. Xiang hardly ever displayed any expression on his face unless it was a life and death situation.

"Quick, pack your bags, we must run now," Xiang said with a manic expression on his face. He grabbed the nearest bag he saw and began shoving Wan's things into it.

"What the hell? What are you doing? Say something! You're scaring me!" Wan tugged urgently at his sleeve.

Xiang turned to look at her. Suddenly, tears began falling down his cheeks.

"I've done it again..." he said tearfully.

"Done what? Stop crying and speak up!" Wan grabbed his shoulders and shook him urgently.

Xiang opened up the large brown envelope in his hand, revealing a CD labelled 'doujinshi'.

"In my drunken stupor, I gave the editor the CD labelled 'photos' instead. We're in so much trouble now..."

An angry roar rang out from further North.

"WANG XIANG! WANG WAN! HONDA KIKU! IM YONG SOO! IVAN BRAGINSKI! I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU ARU!"

"Killing originates from... No wait, what did I do da-ze? Help! Put that sword down!"

**THE END.**

* * *

**Freetalk: **One more complete fanfic to add to the record! Yay! Haha no lemon in this chapter after all. I'm sorry if you were looking forward to it. But I promise to write more lemony stories in future. You'll look forward to them da?

The bit about Wan and her doujinshi in chapters 3 and 4 are just ideas that suddenly popped into my head. You can consider it as sort of a continuation from Sex in the Forbidden City. After the whole world saw Ivan and Yao's porn video, Kiku, Wan and Elizaveta have been looking to the two for inspiration ever since. And then mirroring what happened in that fic where Xiang made a mistake and sent the video to the whole world, Xiang does a boo-boo again here by mixing up Wan's CDs. But this time, it was because he was drunk, so it's Ivan's fault really. And poor Yong Soo was implicated although he's really innocent in this whole saga XD

Thanks for supporting this fic. I'm really happy that everybody likes it!


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